SeeDs Gone Soft
by Rejeana
Summary: *Work in Progress* It had been a long time since the defeat of Ultimecia, and the SeeD forces had grown lazy and over confident. Someone had to put them back in their place, but who?


Disclaimer * Square owns it all, except for my story line that is.  
  
Author's Note: This is still a work in progress, so bear with me while I muddle through the creative process! (  
  
  
  
It was a long time after the defeat of Ultimecia. Things around the world had been quiet. Too quiet. Things needed to be shaken up a bit in the town of Balamb…the SeeD forces had gone soft in this time of peace. Garden seemed to be nothing but one giant hot dog stand. Those so called combat specialists had grown lazy and over confident. Defeat one super villain sorceress, and the ego sky rockets…  
  
What was Ma Dincht to do? Her son had been a hero known to the whole world, now he really had become a chicken wuss, as that boy, Seifer, had so eloquently put it.  
  
"I must make sure my son is on his toes…I won't be the mother of a chicken wuss!" she thought to herself. "Now is just the time to make a plan of action…"  
  
* * Meanwhile * *  
  
"Zell!" Selphie ran up to him in the cafeteria. "You're gonna get more hot dogs?!! You just had 17 of them for breakfast!"  
  
"What can I say? I love these things!" he exclaimed as he moved up in the serving line.  
  
"You've packed on quite a few pounds there, bud," Selphie stated as she poked Zell in the fluff of his stomach. In fact, Zell had become quite a bit chunky during his time off. "Maybe you should skip lunch today, eh? Like go…uhm…" she stopped in mid sentence. He was pretty out of shape "…walk on the tread mill set on 'snail'…" she trailed off as she finished her thought.  
  
"What's the big idea!" Zell started. "Ah, it's my turn in line!" He turned from the spunky Selphie and went back to his hot dogs. She let out an exasperated sigh in his direction and walked off.  
  
"Great…just what we need…a fat assed close-combat specialist…I bet he can't even make it up the stairs…" she mumbled to herself.  
  
* * Back in Balamb town * *  
  
"I need help from the inside…that's what I need!" Ma Dincht had been planning evil plans all day…or at least trying to plan evil things to toughen up the SeeDs once again. "If I have someone on the inside helping me out, I'll be able to find their weakness and use it for my own gain!" What a nut job Ma Dincht had become…  
  
She decided to go to Garden for a visit with Zell. Once inside the Garden, maybe she could spot a weakness for herself, or at least pick up someone who could. She put on her best "loving mother" face and headed off to Garden. Little did the SeeD forces know that one psycho mom was on her way to set the ball in motion for some major havoc wreaking.  
  
* * In Garden * *  
  
"Hey Zell!" Irvine walked into the cafeteria to inform him that is mother had come for a visit. "Why don't you just, like, live in here?" Zell glared at him. He would have insulted Irvine in return, but his mouth was full of, you guessed it, hot dogs. "How can you eat those things anyway? I heard they make them out of bite bug wings and caterpillar feet." Zell glared at him once again.  
  
"Don't knock 'em til ya tried 'em!" Zell stated and continued chowing down on his hot dogs. Irvine raised an eyebrow at Zell and then rolled his eyes.  
  
"You've got a problem man. You're addicted! But anyway, your mom is here, so you might want to go see her," Irvine said. He looked at Zell's tray full of hot dogs and counted them up. He shook his head…17 more hot dogs were piled on the tray in front of chunky Zell. "Looks like you'll be here for about a little longer. I'll go tell her for you." Zell grunted a thank you through his full mouth as Irvine walked away shaking his head. As he was leaving, he shouted at Zell, "Just so you know, you're a fat ass!"  
  
"Wha--*gag, hack* what?!" Zell choked on his 37th hot dog of the day. "I am not fat!" Irvine rolled his eyes again and left the cafeteria. He walked through the halls of Garden toward the guest facilities. Inside, he spotted Ma Dincht sitting in a chair reading an issue of Weapons Monthly.  
  
"Now that's my kind of woman," he thought. Ma Dincht looked up when she heard him approaching and set her magazine down. He noticed that it was opened to the guns section. "Whoa, she really IS my kind of woman!"  
  
"This is such a nice lounge you have here for guests," she said, breaking the ice between the two.  
  
"I didn't even know this place had guest facilities until 10 minutes ago," he commented and sat down in the chair next to hers. "I have a message for you. Zell's stuffing his face. He'll be here soon enough." The older woman smiled at Irvine, and he gave her his patented dashing "I'm- the-man-you-know-you-want-me" smile.  
  
"Thank you for telling me," she said. "A ha!" she thought. "I've found the weakest link! He's practically drooling over me as it is…I'll just play along with his advances to get him to do my bidding…"  
  
"So…what brings you here today?" Irvine inquired.  
  
"Hmm…let's see…I came to visit Zell, see how the Garden is looking these days, and…to see you," she answered and gave him a wink. His jaw dropped and he began to stutter stupidly.  
  
"ah, um…hm…uh…" He wasn't used to being hit on; he was normally the one to do the flirting! He especially wasn't ready for an older woman, not to mention Zell's mom, to come on to him! "Ah, what the hell?" he thought. "This is a once in a lifetime chance!" He leaned closer to her, and their eyes met. His eyes were bright, yet his nervousness was obvious to Mrs. Dincht.  
  
"Time to knock your socks off," she stated bluntly as she grabbed him. She pulled him even closer to her and kissed him. His eyes went wide with disbelief. He was shocked, but was quick to yield to her advance. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. He looked as if he was in a hypnotic state. "You'll come with me," she ordered as she stood up from her chair. Irvine obediently followed her. "But first, you'll go tell Zell that I decided to go home because I'm not feeling well. Meet me at the front gate when you are finished."  
  
"Yes, my love…" Irvine sighed. He skipped off toward the cafeteria.  
  
"Darling, don't make a fool of yourself…now go," she said to him. He nodded and left the lounge. "Such a little lap dog…" she muttered as she headed for the front gate.  
  
* * At the Quad * *  
  
"Oh, Squall!! Aren't they soo cuuute!?!" Rinoa was going on about the newest attraction at the Quad, Marvin's Magical Dancing Moogles. Squall raised an eyebrow. Dancing moogles were definitely not his thing, but if Rinoa liked them…  
  
"They're…uhm…nice," Squall replied as he watched the moogles on the stage jump around and flap their wings in some sort of dance.  
  
"Kupo!" Squall put his hand to his forehead. He couldn't stand the sound that those things made. He was about to tell Rinoa that he was going to leave before the moogles caused his head to explode when Quistis made her way toward them.  
  
"Squall, we've got a problem…" she began. Squall tried to jump up from his chair, but his foot caught on one of the legs and he nearly fell down. He caught himself and stood up.  
  
"What is it?" he asked. As acting commander of the SeeD forces, he should have been the first one to know about any problem.  
  
"It's Zell," she began.  
  
"Yeah," Rinoa piped up, "He's getting fat, Squall. It's very unhealthy. He's gonna have a heart attack if you don't do something." Quistis nodded in agreement.  
  
"What am I supposed to do? I can't make him stop getting fat," Squall commented as he crossed his arms. What could he do? Order the cafeteria to stop making hot dogs? That would be ridiculous.  
  
"Well, for starters, you could go talk to him," Quistis said. "He looks up to you." She gave him a stern look to help make her point. Squall put his hand to his forehead.  
  
"Okay, I'll go. Anything to get away from these kupo-ing moogles…" he said and walked out of the Quad.  
  
"Quisty, don't you think they're so cuuuuute!?" Rinoa said pointing toward the moogles.  
  
* * At Ma Dincht's Evil headquarters * *  
  
Ma Dincht had been relaxing while Irvine cleaned her house. Evil geniuses needed their rest, and Ma Dincht was no different. She was reading over the plans that she had come up with.  
  
"Irvine!" she barked.  
  
"Yes ma'am!" he said as he came running to her side.  
  
"I want you to go back to Garden. Once there, let all the monsters out of the training center. That will throw the lazy SeeDs for a loop while we prepare the next phase of our plan," she explained.  
  
"What is the next phase of our plan?" he asked.  
  
"To take over the town of Timber," she said. He gave her a confused look. Take over Timber? No way. That would be impossible! "I see you don't believe that I can take over Timber."  
  
"It's not that I don't believe you, my love, it's just that…it seems like it would be nearly impossible for you to take over a town!" Irvine answered.  
  
"It isn't as hard as you would think. I'm an old leader of the Forest Foxes. They're running the government in Timber now, and I put in a few calls, pulled a few strings, collected on some debts, and when we arrive in Timber, I will be in total control."  
  
"But how?!" Irvine asked.  
  
"Do you doubt me, child?" she gave him a threatening glare, and he backed down. 


End file.
